TOO HARD TO REMEMBER

December 10 is too hard to remember
It shows the blood in all red
And builds dark clouds in all my skies
As your thoughts roll like waves
…to the shores of my mind

II
December is a month I dread
It stopped my happy years
By taking Aduse Poku on its 26th
And taking you on its 10th
And taking Grandma Ama on its 27th
How do I live through such void
Even as this innocent December stares?
I dread them all but I wish I could skip through the 10th

III
I don’t know how people do it
But my mouth opens the taps of my eyes
…at your mention
My mind fetches regrets at your thoughts
And your thoughts drain all happiness in your hosting
That visit in my dream did naught to clear the sadness

IV
It’s been a hard year
A hard year that I’ve worked to shirk the thoughts of you
It’s been a hard year
A hard year I’ve jumped your thoughts
…to act cool
It’s been a hard year
A hard year
…I’ve lived like a fly in a body that claps
But no second clears you in my upper room
And breaths feel like poisonous doom

V
But you’re my baby
And I live like your mother
Knowing a reversal is my impossicant
Knowing you wait to take my hand
…at the end
That you’re well rested and playing pain in its pleasure
Pauses my pain sometimes
But missing you is all I do
Loving you is all I do
Wanting you is all I do
Needing you is all I do
For you are a me I can never let go
No matter the voice that calls
…for a mental separation
Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © December 10, 2019