EUROPEANIZED KOFI SAM

A
Kofi Sam is hawking self hate
…on a dirty slate but feels he has a better fate
Ei!
Kofi Sam, whose favourite food was aprapransa,
And who once played with the akɔwensa,
Travelled one day to an abrɔfo-land
…and came back boasting of eating only suaasat from Greenland
Ei!
A rumour follows him from town to town
His newfound stick-like frame, they say
Comes from the foreign food he wolfs down every day
Shei!

B.
He goes about talking like a newborn parrot,
Wearing a three-piece suit beneath the scorching sun
Pointing at oddities he once embraced with fun
Asɛm!
He parades himself here and there as shameless as a harlot,
Placing himself on many bored tongues to be chewed
Like unsweetened gum, bitter and crude
Only to be spat out before his very eyes
…like poisoned rum served up in the guise
…of gossip, laughter, and public entertainment
Apim!
Still, he sneers at the crowd with studied resentment:
“See these village folks, eager to be my commentators!”

D.
He praises White places with unrestrained devotion
Kofi Sam says America is heaven
…a paradise reserved for the finest faces
While Africa is hell, a continent which the worst embraces
Wɔi
He says American streets know no dust
So in their civilisation, he has whole heartedly placed his trust
Koi!

E.
Kofi Sam says, in America, lifts carry people to greater heights
Unlike our staircases which punish calves
…and subject feet to dirty sights
See his laziness!
He says American doctors are wiser than King Solomon
They diagnose and cure
…as deftly as skilled thumbs crack stubborn head-lice
See his craziness!

Ɛ.
Kofi Sam says African women are no match for snow
Apparently, beauty is a whiteness only ‘best’ eyes know
He says we must bow to the White man’s might
This son of a Black womb, carried for more than nine moons
Now declares that Black women are a stench to the night
…with a pomposity that suggests he has never farted
Yei!

F.
Kofi Sam has mouth diarrhoea
And brags about eating salmon
He finds many beauties in Korea
…hating ampesi and fancying ramen
Akua Dobo says she saw him last week
…hiding behind Akpatse’s hut shoving nyuma into his boastful beak
Haha!


G.
He points at anything and everything
Finding fault with the customs we hold dear
…and expressing many a culture to fear
Our languages, he says, are shameful dialects
Our lands are backward and unworthy of respect
Our traditions, he calls savage
And claims abrafoɔ are savages on a rampage

H.
Kofi Sam says Black churches are a disgrace
They are mere theatres masquerading as houses of God
There is no composure, he claims
Our pastors lack exposure
He shames
He has tasted the atmosphere of a White church
…and there, Kofi Sam said he felt God, not the dark doom
…he imagines lurking in our sanctuaries
He declares that our churches are discos
A judgement he pronounces with unwarranted certainty
Ha!

I.
Kofi Sam is now a Europeanised Black man
Why then does he not bleach his skin
And settle in the land where he insists
…is the truly successful’s beginning?

K.
He could bleach himself like a pig
Have his nose remodelled like Michael Jackson’s
And perm his hair into a caricature of whiteness
He could build himself an icebox for a home
And wrap his oversized coat around his frame
Until he resembles a bloated goat

L.
He could spare us earthlings his endless complaints
And leave us to our own imperfect Eden
The very place whose chaos he abhors
…yet whose people he cannot stop correcting

M.
Kofi Sam has gone racist rogue
Why did he descend back here
…to torment and darkly entertain us
…with his sore looks
…his ever perspiring body
…his worship of whiteness
…and his self-hate?

N.
His existence and insistence
…with his consistence
…beats me!

O.
Perhaps the gods employ him to reveal
A little of the selves we hide
…those buried prejudices
…those borrowed standards
That teaches us to despise ourselves
And hinder the progress we so loudly seek


Ɔ.
Perhaps he is the shame
…we carry without name
…the blame we have pushed into a tame
…and the scar from colonial guns
…smoothened outward
…but looking nasty inward
Agyawaadwo!
Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © October 16, 2026