WOMANOCOOLTASIES

There are many noisy drums humming definitions of women
Abena Amoafowaa Jemremedua
My ears have turned bigger than that of the biggest elephant
Hugging the ground in listening
As oceans of chaotic banter battle winds of infuriated ears.
Some define a woman as a bottomless hole meant as a collection bowl by Odomankomah Nana Nyame
Ɛneɛ sɛ ɛɛgyeaaa nie
ATMs of pleasure; palm greasing, pleasure pounding
How I wish I can turn spectator to see the mortars and pestles at work after payments!
Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I am just a reporter of the gods
No mischief intended

II
Some define the woman as hands blessed to wash like machines
Wombs imperative to host and produce children like incubators
Owonta a w’asan agye Badu guan de, na w’awei koraa
Bodies needed to nurture like hens nurture chicks
And they must have fingers whose magic transform cooking ingredients into mouthwatering delicacies
Ɛneɛ nkate nkonto eei
Ɛneɛ lapiiiwa ne abɛnkwan
Ɛneɛ nkwan pa, ɛnaeehuroyi o
Wei deɛ Papa bi nnwom, ɔse:
“Ɛtɔ ne paya, ɛyɛ me dɛ o papa bi, ɛtɔ ne paya, ɛyɛ me dɛ o papa bi”
Eeei! Bɔyiɛ bɔi!

III
Some believe a woman is a goddess to be worshipped
On her buttocks, a stool of pampering comfort
On her feet, ahenemma of the right attention
On her head, a crown of praises shining on stages worth noting
On her body, clothes of respect on pomade of prestige
Even to open her mouth for a sound to kro-chia through her throat
There must be appellations of love
Ei! At this point the art of farting and hwiiitiming beg me to ask how they come in?
But Eno Abena, I value my mouth which enjoys its kontomoa without wailing like an abused dog

IV
Some use hot punches to define a woman
They say a woman is she who can battle in intellectual rings the other homosapiens called men
Winning by a unanimous knockout and taking the belt of superiority to create change
That Va-kuhukuhuu-gi-huhmmhmm-na-eeetien
Who puts a “pain-is” on the carpenter’s table
Saws, polishes and remodels into refinement
To see no inferiority in the mirrors of their eyes
A Boss’ own boss!
Bɔyiɛ!

V
Me I know no plain words and care not for definitions
I believe a woman is she who knows what she wants and works towards it like all humans
Not an eagle who acts chicken to cuddle
Not a goat who acts sheep to belong
Not a porcupine who acts dove for praises
Not a python who acts like a water snake for validation
Certainly not a sky which acts ground to please
A woman is she who knows her and her desires
If she is an elephant, she shakes her ground with each of her coming
Breaks trees which catches her fancy
Whips idiots who try to toy with her with her trunk
Bathing in any water she deems fit to cool her temperature
Knowing none can battle her in running.
If she is a bitch
She knows how to eat rich
Barking to scare her haters
Biting to tame her chasers
Protecting her lovers even in their lows of sleep
Satisfying her passions not caring eyes in watch
Serving her masters even in plasters
So yes
A woman is she who knows her body itches and definitely scratches to feel relief
She is no woman who tries to fit into tight clothes of obligations
Set by standards to kill her real self
She is no woman who puts handcuffs of opinions on her wings
Through norms to sit on trees of stagnancy
Only to pass her bitterness on as inheritance
I definitely am a woman
One whose corner enjoys some peace by living quietly
Let the definitions go on until sense settles in unbrellaring all minds
Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © Jan. 4, 2019

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