Women: Warning Signals in Abusive Relationships

 

couple

Since the beginning of time, women have been known to be possessions of men. This trait is waning thanks to the emergence of Women Rights Activists who cry for the emancipation of women but this canker still persists. Although there are good men out there, there are many men who think it is their right to marry as many women as they want provided they can afford it (and some do it though they cannot afford it). Let a woman try this and they get so defensive and try to harm the women and sometimes the women’s men. It is not a good habit to cheat but the same way a man can fall out of love with a woman; a woman can fall out of love with a man. Jealousy nurses bad intentions, when these intentions grow because of lack of the discipline herbicide; it turns into a dessert of thorns which can pierce hearts and kill instantly. (I don’t have any intentions of being biased so I will add that a jealous woman is like a time bomb capable of exploding anytime, not healthy. For the purpose of brevity, I would stick to the signs men exhibit). The here are some of the signs.

  1. A little jealousy is good but being too jealous can turn disastrous. A man who is overly protective because of jealousy is like a fetish priest worshipping the god of jealousy. Once he gets possessed, he is whipped to the realm of jealousy and may do un-repairable damage, damage he may regret when his god dispossesses him. Life is one, just one, who wants to play with hers? When he begins to suspect you by asking you questions based on his intuition and your answers do not satisfy him, you need to start putting measures in place to protect yourself because he can get angry and harm you. Stories are told of men who abuse their women based on dreams of infidelity.
  2. When you feel he has set spies for you: so you go to the mall talking to an old school mate or an acquaintance and he calls to ask you where you are. When that detail generates extensive quarrels, you need to start thinking of securing your life and being alone with him when the heat is unbearable is very dangerous.
  3. When he hits you because of a cheating argument, then you need to pack out or pack him out immediately.
  4. When he starts getting offensive to your friends and tries to set you apart from them, you need to gather your thoughts and leave or get the authorities to let him pack and sign a bond that your life is in his hands. Antagonizing your friends and destroying your friendship puts you in the place they want.
  5. When you tell him it is over and he threatens you with suicide, you need to immediately get a restraining order. Chances are, he will really commit suicide in your space and put you into trouble or commit suicide leaving a note that you are the cause to generate enemies for you.
  6. Funny enough, some men with bad intentions tend to use analogies. They tell you stories about men killing their wives because of their infidelity. These stories may have no connections with your conversation at that particular time. Please be wise and try finding out what is going on. He may have information that you are cheating and so may be planning to harm you.
  7. Some also use emotional blackmail. I went out with someone who told me if I ever cheated on him with another man, his family deity would strike me dead. And he had histories of his family members whose wives and girlfriends lost their sanity or lives to cheating. All these stories are mostly baseless. Sometimes they are just meant to scare you into staying with them no matter what they do. Trust me, relationships like that end very badly.
  8. Women must also know that when some men begin to cheat, they assume the other parties are also cheating. So yes, they get overprotective and may harm you due to this.
  9. Some men would also try to harm you based on past experiences. If a man knows women who have cheated on their husbands either with him or other men, he would be sensitive to cheating. If you love this man and talking to him does not help, please try staying as far away from him as possible.
  10. When he is bold enough to tell you that he will kill you, you need to calm him down. Do not antagonize him at all. When you feel safe, report him to the police and let them put measures in place to protect you. Your life is of vital importance to yourself, your family and your community. Please do not let an angry man take it from you.

There may be more, but these are the obvious ones I came up with. So ask yourself, are you in a healthy and safe relationship?

Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © 2014

20 thoughts on “Women: Warning Signals in Abusive Relationships

  1. God wants you alive! Jesus in no way, shape or form condones violence against women and children. Your Life and the lives of your children including psychological and emotional damage from living in a violent home are Priority #1. We are living under Grace not legalism. Many use religion to make the Woman feel guilty or shame. She is blamed for the relationship failure. Not true! Brainwashing. Get help! Get out of the situation before it is too late!

    Domestic Violence Stats

    http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics–facts-52.html

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html

    http://www.cadvny.org/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Divorce is divorce. It is the right of people to divorce if they feel they cannot stay in a relationship. If there is no physical harm, I don’t think there should be any problem. There will be heartbreaks which is normal, but you will get over it because you are not the first to go through this and you definitely won’t be the last to go through heartaches.

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      1. This may be a threat alright but I think it is not a big deal. There is a saying in my home language which transliterates “If you are afraid of divorce, you will never get to taste a good marriage”. If a man threatens with divorce, of course, that is his right. He may be free to leave the woman but must take care of his children. Period!

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      2. The whole religious connotations to divorce is ruined, don’t you think Yoshiko? The many people who get married and divorced in this life are more than necessary. Now many do not attach importance to the sins of divorce. My opinion based on what I see.

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      3. I think it is better to sin against a child who will grow up to forgive and help the child grow than to lose your life to violence. Who can take care of your child more than you can? Life is life, and it is one Yoshiko. I’ll choose life for my child, than love to please God or my child, because I know both of them will understand. Blessings.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I understand your good intentions. That is why God emphasizes love and forgiveness. This essential in a marriage. This eventually will help the child how to handle a marriage into a lifelong marriage.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There must be some kind of psychic prompt out there. Abuse seems to be a common topic across WordPress – very nice article. P.S. just remember if an abuser doesn’t look like they will calm down, grab your kids and run like hell. It might be your only chance. One in every three women murder victims are killed by someone they love.

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