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It would be a cliché if I say love embodies jealousy and that the nature of provocation determines its severity but I’ll say it anyway. The woman is different from the man physically but emotionally. I know we have most of the same features including jealousy. A man can drown himself in sorrow when he feels his woman is cheating on him, kill himself or harm the woman all because of jealousy. In severe cases, a man can kill his fellow man when he is seen with a woman he considers his own. This is jealousy. Many domestic abuse cases involving women stem from this. This is the same feeling women habour, the anger, the urge to harm or die from the surface of the earth, the urge to turn into a drunk are also signs of jealousy.  Sometimes, I think men do not understand this logic hence their torturing women. If you think about life very well, you realise that the story of evolution has it that one man was equal to one woman, Adam to Hawa or Eve. That we have gotton to a place where men are greedy for more women to satisfy themselves, I know, is the doing of man and not God.

Muslims have their Holy book which concurs their marrying more than one wife. Mostly, I think that quotation of the Quran is misunderstood. This is because; no one person can love two people equally. We give birth to offsprings, we have siblings, yet we have our favourites. In the realm of Christianity, Jesus Christ was the most loved, Prophet Mohammed (Peace be unto his name) led because Allah favoured him, of course there were many men living on earth during his time. This shows that even God cannot love all of us equally. So for the Holy Book to say you have the right to marry up to four PROVIDED YOU CAN CARE FOR THEM EQUALLY, my mind tells me; it means, never try the impossible because even God cannot love all equally.

But Muslims have taken this quotation at its surface meaning and are abusing it. People who can hardly feed themselves marry more than one in their bid to show their manly powers. Now greed has set in. Many men want women who are self-sufficient to make their lives easier but the Book said YOU should take care of them not the other way round.

Traditionalists are polygamous. I like them for one thing, they have no clause attached to their greed for women. Provided you want to, you can marry as many women as you wish but you may pacify your wife if you see the need to do so. Again I say, women and pain! They must always be made to experience what men themselves can’t stand; jealousy and in some cases, are forbidden from showing it.

If you read this, know that women are also human beings with the same feelings as men. Recently, I have come into contact with two Muslim women who are crying their hearts out because their men are going to marry other women. Who says the pain is less because the Quran which they believe in says so?

Men, when you look at another woman apart from your wife, be the spectator in your mind’s eye and see your wife looking at another man with the same intent you have, feel the rage, the heat, the intent to kill, and know that that is just how much she would feel with every step you take. Women are not mere wood, they have as much feelings as men and suffer more than men do. That bit about women being more than men on earth hence the need to marry more is unjustified, it is just greed talking because many men tend to love one women, and if polygamy is active, polygyny is also something that can also be made active if ever there should be another Beijing Conference. Please stop making women shed tears of blood and do unto others as you would want others to do to you, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander.

Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © 2014

By amoafowaa

Just a simple Ghanaian trying to find the best in our society. I may be fun, I may be interesting, I may be funny, I may even be foolish or intelligent, but it is all based on the mood in which you find yourself. I believe our minds make us who we are. Know that, pain, no matter its 'unbearability', is transient. Unburden or delight yourself for a while in my writings please. And all corrections, advice and opinions are welcome. Know that you are the king, queen or royal on this blog. :)


ALLAH, the Almighty created man and He knows man more than how man knows himself! There can never be any mistake about that! Which one is better? The illegal possession of mistresses outside a marital home and legally possessing two women! The devil you know would always prove better than the devil you have no knowledge of! Somebody may educate me as to which verse of the Bible says “one man one wife “?


Was expecting this Doo, one who is eagerly awaiting another, I’ll say having more mistresses is better, because you know it is wrong so the woman can also have more, you’ll all know then it is wrong, having more while the other is left with empty nights is cheating, and sadly these thoughts are found only in these parts, true Muslims in other worlds, seldom marries two. I’m not so much a Christian, so you can get your education from the pastors who preach it.


You gave a good insight on this matter 🙂 I believe it depends on places and culture a lot!! In my part of the world (Mauritius), it is a very rare case to see a man having currently 2 or 4 wives.I think even 3 was never heard of. It is usually on the death of the first wives or divorce, that this is likely to happen that they re-marry.Even the Qur’aan says that if you can’t afford for one, then don’t go for more.Also based upon the prophetic traditions, there were several reasons for polygamy and the reason for greed/lust was probably at the end of the list.In the contemporary time, it is true that people abuses on its meaning and well, they are to be blamed!I think the subject is multi-dimensional and need to be dissect by time and wisdom/research.

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That is true Chamilah, but where I am currently, some Muslim men I know think marrying one woman is a sign of cowardice, some claim marrying more than one tames the women, some simply use the Quaran to marry more, hardly will you see a Muslim man in his forties with one woman as a wife. Trust me when I say, some of us are so discouraged from going in for a man, especially when that man is a Muslim.


haha! really? this make me laugh!! the ladies out there should be very much vigilant and rest assure, any injustice towards women is indeed a sin! to tame a woman? this is outrageous! we don’t need taming, innit? it guess, it is more of a cultural thing over there or the fashion? There is a lot more to be done than just marrying for taming 😀 I guess they are violating the rules of equal protection, nourishment and love!! I pray this don’t turn into a chaos. Gently counsel these women.

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I think it is not a culture, it is greed and their egos they are sinfully covering up with the Islam religion. And they lack the respect for women simply because they care not where they come from, sad thing is that, some of these women have been subdued to believe they are what their husbands say, so you might turn into the bad one if you try to intervene, but I always say my piece. It is better to be single than end up with one of these silent killers. And yes, we need no taming, we’re not horses.

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