I have heard so many things in my life.
“You are a girl, walk like a girl
You are a girl, look down when men are speaking
You are a girl, never shout no matter the pain
Are you crying because of this little thing?
What will you do when delivering a baby?
You are a girl, a big mouth will only throw you out
Of your husband’s house
That is, if he doesn’t kill you before then
A girl always has to tauntingly hide in clothes like an “aketeesia”
And wait for the higher specied beings to search for her
Now you are growing into a woman
Be prayerful because you are the spiritual head of your marital home
Be respectful because you have an unknown family to serve
Behave like a man, and you will become an old maid”
I have heard so much in my life.
“If your decision is to remain single,
Know you have the society to battle
Learn to work well under duress
Hiding all marital pains
As washing dirty linens outside makes a bad wife
You must be accommodating
So much so, that you accept other wives of your husband as your sisters
And care for them
You must throw all your emotions out!
Emotions make wives witches
Making them unnecessarily covetous
And ending up unattractive to their husbands”
I have heard so much, I can never enumerate all
Some tell me those with analogies
“Eve thrived on Adams’ bones”
They fail to stress that Adam trusted Eve’s judgement into doom
They mention that Jacob married two sisters
But they fail to stress on the enmity between his children
They tell “be holy as Mary was holy”
But they fail to stress that Joseph had no hand
In the pregnancy of the Christ
Do I also wait to be mated by an angel?
They tell me to love a man as Christ loved the church
But they fail to stress the fact that Christ never married
Will it be surprising if I told you these suffocating advices mostly came from my elderly kind?
Today I have a voice
Please do away with the analogies
Like the human being that I am
I want my voice to be heard
I am no Eve
Eve was a woman who was never known as a girl
Eve was a woman like me
But I am a worldly breed
I was conceived same as the man
It took the same moons as that of the men
To grace this habitat with my presence
I did not have to have bones transferred from any part of any man to have my earthly stay
So I must be seen as a whole being and not as half a being
I am a woman who is human and must be treated as such
Never will I stay quiet when I wish to speak!
Never will I close my eyes when I wish to look!
Never will I hide in clothes when I feel for the breeze!
Never will I wait to be searched for when I can also equally look
Never will I stay in the shadows of other beings
Because I was born alone and must live my life in uniqueness
I am me and can never be another
I am no Eve, so I do not expect anyone to act like my Adam
Leave me be.
Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © 2014.