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WHEN THINGS GO WRONG (A SHORT SKETCH FOR TEENAGERS)

(On a stage, three students are in a discourse, the two boys talk while the girl stands very close to Excoba)

 

EXCOBA: I came to this school to just get a certificate

Because there’s no way my parents will leave me intestate

For family members to make me lie prostrate

So Charle, let me functiate

 

SAM: You don’t know what you’re talking about

There’s no gift that surpasses education

Knowledge is for you, for you alone

No matter your monetary worth, ignorance will flush it

And you’ll be a flibbertigibbet if you say words like “functiate” in the midst of the learned

 

EXCOBA: We dey live life a

You dey talk chao

Na where from this big big grammer?

You want scar me?

Wey thing I do you ah you dey look for my trouble?

Why you happy say you dey sit on my thoughts?

Abeg gyare make I tink

 

SAM: I am not sitting on your thoughts

I’m talking to your senses

Where will smoking, breaking bounds, stealing, disrespecting authority,

Gallivanting around, having many girlfriends (turning to look at Dora) Boyfriends take you?

 

DORA: I haven’t made any attempt to speak with you

I no want your trouble

If you think you can advice

Make you go advice your own sister

Honey, we was going to the movies

 

Ewooo, “we was going to the theatre”

Someone has a bad grip on her concord do whatever you want

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

                         Exeunt Dora and Excoba

 

SAM: I see a future full of doom

When correction can make a lot of room

I wish this dirt can be swept with a broom

Then I could prevent this disaster loom

 

ONE YEAR LATER:

Dora: I don’t know what to do

I am in trouble, wetin I for do?

I hear Excoba is at the psychiatry and I get belle

My parents has sacked me from the house

And I don’t know anyone

I can’t stay in this school too, I have been sacked

I don’t know excoba’s house nor his hospital

Please Senior Sam, help me

 

First of all, your parents have sacked you not has sacked you

And I don’t want to say I told you so

How can you ask this favour from a fellow student?

What can I possibly do to help you out?

When I talk to student they rebel

When I’m talking sense to them

They show me remorse

Just look at Sarah, a daughter of two poor farmers

Posing as a rich kid

Thinking no one knows

When it became obvious there she was

Not being able to breathe in this school

Look at Alhassan, always cheating in examinations

When others are learning he sleeps like a log

His examination malpractices have sent him to the house

 

DORA: Just help me with money for an abortion

 

Sam: Abortion? You’re not even repentant?

Have you forgotten what happened to Nina?

A very beautiful girl dying while having an abortion,

Instead of you thinking of a better way

You stand in my presence and talk of an abortion

Here take this one Ghana Cedi for some food

Even if I had a lot, I’d never fund an abortion

Let this be a lesson to all assembled

I’ll never condone evil.

Marry your books and give birth to glaring success

Marry your books and give birth to flying success

Marry your books and give birth to excellence

A word to the wise is enough.

    Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia © 2014.

 

By amoafowaa

Just a simple Ghanaian trying to find the best in our society. I may be fun, I may be interesting, I may be funny, I may even be foolish or intelligent, but it is all based on the mood in which you find yourself. I believe our minds make us who we are. Know that, pain, no matter its 'unbearability', is transient. Unburden or delight yourself for a while in my writings please. And all corrections, advice and opinions are welcome. Know that you are the king, queen or royal on this blog. :)

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