LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX AND SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.

It is a well known fact that most Africans love sex but hate the thought of other people knowing that they do have sex. Oops, did I step on some toes? A fact is a fact and we must not run away from facts. We do love sex, but we do not want anyone to even think or associate us in any way with sex, so we shut the children up. A child can ask his/her parents what a body organ is, they will be told all except the sexual organs in most parts of Africa. So if a child asks:

   Mama, what is this part of my body called?

Instead of saying your ‘vagina/ penis‘ the woman will look in the eyes of the child and tell him or her, it is your fish or bar! As that girl grows, she is told that if someone happens to chew that fish, she will die. That boy will also be told the bar may break into two killing him instantly when he uses it wrongly. Realism? These little lies go a long way to affect the children who grow up attending tutorials at the gathering of his or her friends as to how sweet sex is. When they are convinced, nothing stops them from having that fish chewed or the bar broken over and over again.

Now let us touch on the issue of no sex before marriage. Let’s not be pretentious, women love sex as much as men. It is just that there are few men who can be in tune with the woman, make her relax and enjoy sex. Most of them know nothing apart from pleasuring themselves when they are in the mood sending bad signals to the brain of the woman, that sex is painful. And this happens to the first timers. 

I know our religions forbid us from partaking in sex before marriage, but weighing that sensitive topic, I have come to realise that not having sex before marriage could be a big mistake. Why? Because there is that potential impotency in men, there are those women who have very bad thoughts about sex and can go crazy hurting the man who tries to touch them. There is that nudging thoughts of the man having a pencil for a working tool; so this particular man can have sex with his wife and start sleeping but the lady will not even know that something has taken place. what happiness is there for such a woman? There are also those three minutes men; if a woman happens to love going for ten minutes or more and meets such a man, what will happen?

I think when you have sex before marriage, it helps you identify what works for you, it pre-informs you on what to expect on a bad day from your man or woman. It is more like tasting the soup to see if it tastes good or bad before taking it off the fire or buying much of it. If you don’t what do you do with the whole bunch after purchase if you do not find it tasty? Throw it away? Yes, there is that option but that will be a waste of your time and money.

So yes, as for me, I fully support the idea of sex before marriage. I will not let the car take off before checking to see if the driver is drunk or sober. Thank you.

     Amoafowaa Sefa Cecilia (c) 2014.