I seriously do not have a clue as to what grooms buy when they are getting married. Do they pay for washer women or cooks? I have thought about this for a long time and I’ve come to the conclusion that marriages in Africa can never give voices to women. If I am to pay in order to marry you, even if I were the man, I’d want you to do my bidding or worse, be my slave. After all, we buy goats to breed and slaughter any time we feel like it, why do I pay for a bride then? Is it for her to serve as an incubator? If that is the case then it is a very complex issue. Or do they pay for taking away children who are supposed to be the doers of house chores? I am still trying to understand.
Most men claim that they deserve respect because they paid for bride price and not the women. Ok, I respect that opinion and they are right. If what is paid is supposed to be for the woman’s education, then that simply means that whatever money the woman makes must go to the man, yes, because he paid for a working company. If that price is paid because a beautiful artifact has been taken from the family, then that woman is supposed to be a decoration tool forever. People talk about tradition in an era where some women work and earn more than their men. Is it possible then to bend the rules to make the women pay groom-prices instead if they are richer, not in private, but in the full glare of both families?
Let’s get religious, because I know many people will crucify me for trying to take that respect bit from men. I am not saying women are not supposed to respect their men, far from that. The Bible says that men are the heads of the household, but the Bible did not say that women are to be disrespected in anyway. I am open for corrections but did the Bible say anything about women taking financial responsibilities of their wards? Times are changing and I think outmoded traditions that are being heightened because of greed must be revised with candid eyes. After all, if you take even ten cows from a man as a bride price and you sell them, the money will finish in a matter of months at most a year.
What will it benefit a family if they sell their ward for exorbitant prices all because of greed? Will it benefit them if their female children lose the respect of their in-laws even before they start their married lives? Someone like me is considered a child who must not tamper with issues like this, but I just aim for answers. I aim to understand the whole issue of paying to take a woman home because it looks like buying and selling from afar to me, that is all.