HERE I STAND

I am standing in the mud

Stretching in a huge world like a little bud

As the rains of uncertainty stone me cold

Yet this heart will not fold

I, like the rest of the women fold fantasizes

About the knight who sweeps women off their feet

But this same heart has nightmarish daydreaming of possible cracks that might turn suicidal.

I am standing in this torrential rain on my bare feet

Wanting to change the world in my own small way

Even if it is to give a smile

Yet my world is a massive chaotic cave

Filled with fear, hurt, pain, struggle, need and yearning

What am I to do?

A fearsome creature lurks in the corner of my heart’s brain

Thinking always aloud about the possible failures to be encountered

How can I neglect that when it talks into a loud microphone?

I yearn to school and train my brain to be among the learned and the most feared

But the world will not make it easy

The people will not make it easy

And I will not make it easy

Because my heart flutters and stutters just thinking about inconsequential things

It crashes and dies a hundred times in a day without warning

A tear from a young eye and it crashes and dies

An illness that scars and it crashes and dies

A natural disaster and it crashes and dies

A painful word and it crashes and dies

A sorrowful story and it crashes and dies

A wishful thought that is an obvious myth and it dies a hundred fold

So here I stand, in this pouring mud

Just like a little bud lost in its new home

Pouring out my soul to the listening wind

Screaming out my lungs and getting lost in my uncertainties and fears which may never rear its head

I am drenched out of hope

Slapped by sorrow

Still I wish hope which stares will hold my hand and run with me

Before I drown in a mud filled with shit.

By amoafowaa